Sunday, September 24, 2006

Jesus will hate you if you pass this on

So the bulletin page on myspace has turned into a substitute for all those damn email forwards we all used to get. You know the ones where some cancer patient named Karen in Kansas has one week to live and if you pass the email on to thirty of the unfortunate souls in your address book the doctors will move her up the donor list and give her a new spleen that will save her life.

There's something you don't know about this story. First of all, there is no Karen in Kansas, and if there was, she'd be dead. It's okay, you didn't kill her. The chain letter has been wandering around the internet for seven years now, and because poor Karen only had one week to live she ought to be long gone by now.

Even if there really was a Karen in Kansas and the fact that her email had been forwarded all over the country somehow convinced a bunch of doctors to give her a new spleen she'd still be dead. Why do you ask? Because she HAD CANCER! So what she needed was a cure for cancer, not a new spleen, and thanks to your ignorance her parents spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on a procedure their daughter didn't need, and now they have a dead daughter and a mountain of debt. I hope you're happy!

It's so nice to not get emails like that anymore, but now instead of emails the bulletin space is flooded with this excrement.

Don't even get me started on the bulletins that tell you at the end to pass it on or in two weeks your second cousin will suffer a stroke or your crush will dump his or her boy or girl and come over to your house tonight and make hot, sweaty, musky, passionate love to you. Do we really believe this crap!?!

Let me tell you something, over the last few months I've been conducting an experiment. Instead of doing what the bulletin said and passing it on for whatever reason, I'll tell you what I did, I ignored it! And guess what! None of my cousins, first or second or even third, have had any kind of stroke, and I haven't had bad luck for eleven years. I even took it one step further, I've gone out and stepped on several cracks on the sidewalk, and believe it or not my mothers back is not broken!

So I'm here to tell you it's safe to NOT pass on this junk to our friends. Nothing bad will happen and our friends will appreciate that we didn't waste their time. This goes for a lot of the surveys too, some of them are clever and interesting, but knowing who you last hugged isn't going to change the way I view the world. I know, crazy.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Tomacco! And other observations.

So I've been out here for about a month, and there are a lot of things that are different. Mostly small things, most of them I like and none of them are necessarily bad, but still they are not what I'm used to and requre a little bit of adjustment.

For one, EVERYBODY FREAKIN' SMOKES! I'm not any stranger to being around smokers, and for the most part it doesn't bother me, I used to suck on the cancer sticks a little bit back in my rebellious teenage years, but the residents of North Carolina have taken it to a new level. Maybe it has something to do with tobacco being a major crop out here. I'm all for supporting our local farmers, but I'd rather buy a US Cotton shirt or drink soy milk or eat lots of sunflower seeds or not shop at Wal Mart, but I'm not exactly willing to sacrifice a few dozen years from my life and place a severe burden on the healthcare system for local pride. Call me an ass, but I wont do it.

I'm not against smokers, it's your body, do whatever you want to it. I have friends that smoke, it wont make me like you any less, but if you're a girl don't ask me to kiss you (another lesson from the rebellious teenage years) because I'm not too attracted to smelly-haired chicks that taste like ash trays. Sorry.

That said, there are a lot of little things out here that I really like, they include, but are not limited to: sweet tea, humidity, hush puppies, fried food, rain, decent weather, trees, liberal politics (compared to Utah), nice people, and southern accents.

On that note, it's 6 PM and I need to get ready for the day.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Hold on, I'd like to whine for a minute

So I've decided that looking for a job that doesn't completely SUCK and pays decent... well... sucks.

Oh well. If I can't find anything decent there's always Harris Teeter.

The complete lack of a social life SUCKS also. I have no job, no school for schooling, and I don't know anybody. Sometimes I go to Wal Mart and talk to the cashiers (not really).

People always tell me I should go out and try and meet people. Problem is I don't have anybody near my age to go out and try and meet people with. There's my 17-year-old brother, but he hates places and would much rather hang out at home and play computer games. Plus he's already convinced that he hates North Carolina, whereas I'm at least trying to give this place a fair shake.

I suppose if I were brazen/drunk enough I could go out to meet people on my own, but then I wouldn't know where to find these "people" anyway. Everybody I see around here is 30+ and has at least one spouse and at least one child.

Anyhow, I'll quit bitching now. Before I go, one last thing


Okay I officially feel like a 14-year-old girl, minus the menstration. I'm done now.