Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Staying awake in class

This week I'm taking a substitute teaching course at Wake Tech. Not because I want to learn how to be a substitute teacher (Put your face close to the mirror, does it fog up? The job is yours!), but rather because if I finish this class I'll get paid an additional $9 for every day I work as a "Guest Teacher." That's more than a $1/hour raise, sweet.

It's hard to stay awake, but it's been interesting sitting in a room for five hours a day, surrounded by a bunch of ladies older than my mom. And the instructor is a loon. She knows everything, and you are stupid. I do a good job keeping my mouth shut, as much as I want to argue it would be more productive to waive around a pistol in a European airport.

Anyhoo, these are the thoughts I have during the class, along with some slightly humorous anecdotes from the instructor:

  • "...There's no incorrect way to answer this, just raise your hand if you think this woman should get her home life fixed before she gets her job priorities straight... (this is her stopping to count hands)... the four of you that raised your hands are wrong!"

  • When counting the cities/states you have visited, I vote that it shouldn't count if you never actually left the airport. A layover in an airport terminal doesn't count as a tourist outing. I've been to the Minneapolis airport twice, but I don't count Minnesota as a place I've been because well, I never left the terminal, and an airport terminal is rarely an accurate representation of the city outside.

  • I could never be an idealist, I'd get frustrated all the time. Lots of things sound brilliant in theory, then real life happens.

  • "You will get forty-five minutes to teach as a group individually" -that's verbatim from the instructor, I'm still trying to figure out what the hell it means.

  • I have so many great writing ideas when it's late and I'm exhausted, but during the day when I'm energized I have a hell of a time getting those ideas to fruition.

  • It's sort of comical to see a well-dressed late-thirty-something Italian woman sitting next to a mullet-clad woman named Pennypacker from West Virginia that uses ridiculous amounts of light blue eye shadow and a black t-shirt with a unicorn on the front. What an awkward juxtaposition.

  • It's downright hilarious to listen to a Backwoods North Carolina woman with a twangy southern accent and an Englishwoman from Chelsea argue about society's demands on today's woman at home and at the workplace. Talk about accents on opposite sides of the English-speaking spectrum.

  • I hate it when I'm getting to know someone (not romantically, just in general) and I fall into one of my rambling spells where I carry on about any random thing that comes across my mind. I think it makes me come across as a complete nerd, which is accurate, I just don't want it to become so blatantly obvious right away.

  • You know what's kind of gross? Eating your pre-lunch snack in the men's room. It's a fairly clean restroom, but please don't talk with your mouth full while I'm washing my hands. I hope you don't get hepatitis.