Misadventures in American Sign Language

I was looking through my ASL dictionary today and it got me thinking about some of my early experiences in trying to communicate via ASL. I took an ASL I class when I was a junior in high school (way back in 2002-2003) but my first experience using the language as the only mode of communication with somebody wasn't until the summer of 2008, more than five years later.

I had just started working at Camp Sertoma, and it turned out that eight or nine of the people I was working with were deaf, and after a few days of staff training I was really eager to be able to communicate with these people and get to know them. One day I was talking with the Desiree (who is deaf) and Maggie (who is a CODA, or a Child of a Deaf Adult, so essentially she's bilingual) and Maggie was forcing me to try and sign the conversation myself. I wasn't aware of this at the time, but CODA's are often treated as built-in translators and they aren't always in love with that fact.

Anyway, I was getting to know Desi when I tried to sign "I had ASL class five years ago" but instead I signed, literally "I had ASL class five fuck ago" Desiree immediately started laughing, and Maggie said "Dude, you just said five fuck ago." Needless to say I was embarassed.

Another good story happened several weeks later. I had been teaching an astronomy class, and I was heading back to the main building on camp for my hour off. On my way I crossed paths with my group of campers and my partner, Juju. I tried to sign to him "my hour off" but I was carrying something, and my signing was unclear. Juju saw what I signed and his eyes got all big, turns out he thought I had said to "fuck off." But fortunately Juju and I got along great as partners and he probably knew that I would never knowingly tell him off like that, so I corrected myself and no feelings were hurt.

I'm not sure why it is that a lot of my experiences with messing up my signing involve me signing the word "fuck." Maybe I just have a crude mind like that.

For fans of Office Space

I was substitute teaching today and surprisingly the students were relatively well-behaved (that's not saying much, it's a good day when nobody tries to burn anything)

Anyway, this lead me to being bored, so I started drawing things I saw in the room. I'm a poor artist, but I gave it the old college try.

Why I’m in My Current Job

I may not know what I want to do with my life, but I know what I don't want to do with my life, and that's spending every day in the same office, shuffling the same papers, putting up with the same stupid boss, and trying to appease the same asshole customer every day for forty years. I tried doing it for six months. I was good at my job, I was efficient at it, but my soul was dying inside.

Between that and finding out what I want to do next I have right now what may be the perfect part-time job for my situation. I have no boss, I don't have to "work the phones", if I don't want to work one day then I don't, I spend most of my days reading magazines and books, I work with students, and every once in a while I get to try and teach them something. I'm a substitute teacher, and it beats the hell out of being a receptionist, working at an ice cream place or a video rental place. It gives me something different every day I work, and it's very flexible.

The application process is a pain in the ass, you have to take a physical, fill out eight-thousand forms and get three hundred letters of recommendation, but it was all definitely worth the time spent. I'm not completely sure I want to be a teacher after I finish school, but in the mean time I'm really liking this job.

Staying awake in class

This week I'm taking a substitute teaching course at Wake Tech. Not because I want to learn how to be a substitute teacher (Put your face close to the mirror, does it fog up? The job is yours!), but rather because if I finish this class I'll get paid an additional $9 for every day I work as a "Guest Teacher." That's more than a $1/hour raise, sweet.

It's hard to stay awake, but it's been interesting sitting in a room for five hours a day, surrounded by a bunch of ladies older than my mom. And the instructor is a loon. She knows everything, and you are stupid. I do a good job keeping my mouth shut, as much as I want to argue it would be more productive to waive around a pistol in a European airport.

Anyhoo, these are the thoughts I have during the class, along with some slightly humorous anecdotes from the instructor:

• "...There's no incorrect way to answer this, just raise your hand if you think this woman should get her home life fixed before she gets her job priorities straight... (this is her stopping to count hands)... the four of you that raised your hands are wrong!"


• When counting the cities/states you have visited, I vote that it shouldn't count if you never actually left the airport. A layover in an airport terminal doesn't count as a tourist outing. I've been to the Minneapolis airport twice, but I don't count Minnesota as a place I've been because well, I never left the terminal, and an airport terminal is rarely an accurate representation of the city outside.


• I could never be an idealist, I'd get frustrated all the time. Lots of things sound brilliant in theory, then real life happens.


• "You will get forty-five minutes to teach as a group individually" -that's verbatim from the instructor, I'm still trying to figure out what the hell it means.


• I have so many great writing ideas when it's late and I'm exhausted, but during the day when I'm energized I have a hell of a time getting those ideas to fruition.


• It's sort of comical to see a well-dressed late-thirty-something Italian woman sitting next to a mullet-clad woman named Pennypacker from West Virginia that uses ridiculous amounts of light blue eye shadow and a black t-shirt with a unicorn on the front. What an awkward juxtaposition.


• It's downright hilarious to listen to a Backwoods North Carolina woman with a twangy southern accent and an Englishwoman from Chelsea argue about society's demands on today's woman at home and at the workplace. Talk about accents on opposite sides of the English-speaking spectrum.


• I hate it when I'm getting to know someone (not romantically, just in general) and I fall into one of my rambling spells where I carry on about any random thing that comes across my mind. I think it makes me come across as a complete nerd, which is accurate, I just don't want it to become so blatantly obvious right away.


• You know what's kind of gross? Eating your pre-lunch snack in the men's room. It's a fairly clean restroom, but please don't talk with your mouth full while I'm washing my hands. I hope you don't get hepatitis.
  

This is who I are

I had a sudden rush of optimism as of fifteen minutes ago. This is odd for me, at least lately. I know it'll probably go away within the hour, but I'ma ride this wave until it crashes into the surf.

Loud, heavy music is the order of the day. Or at least right now. I plugged my bose-knock-off noise canceling headphones into my lappy, flip the switch and construct my playlist.

It's not varied or lengthy. Some songs from the new Linkin Park album, 30 Seconds to Mars, Hawthorne Heights and my favorite local band, Pivot. These guys sought us out as the story of my sister's murder was making the rounds in the media, and offered to turn their upcoming show at Volume 11 Tavern (just around the corner from where my sister was killed) into a benefit concert. We met with them and decided to give the show the go ahead, and it turns out that along with being an awesome group of guys they have a kickass sound. They gave me a copy of their newest EP and I've been addicted ever since. They have another show in Raleigh in late September, I'll definitely be making an effort to be there.

Anyhow, things are starting to get a little better. I'll hopefully be employed next month and have a chance to get out of the house for a change. All apologies to all of you for not keeping in contact. Between the grief and depression and general bull pucky that goes along with that I haven't been calling anybody, or leaving the house much for that matter. I'ma try and be better, but keep in mind, I love you all.