It's Friday. Deadline day. I spend all week preparing for deadline day, and this day was actually pretty good to start. Having worked with newspapers before I get a happy feeling on deadline days when everything just falls into place.
Then Ann called
Me: Fuquay Independent, this is Jason, How can I help you?
Ann: Hi, my name is Ann Psychobitch, and I'd like to renew a classified I've been running.
Me: Which ad have you been running?
Ann: It's an ad for Firewood For Sale, the phone number on the ad is 919-IMA-WENCH
Me: Okay, looks like your ad expired on the 10th, how long would you like to renew it for?
Ann: Four weeks
Me: Alright, that's $20 for the first week and $18 for each additional week, so that'll be a total of $74.
Ann: Wow... that's just ridiculous, why did you raise the prices so much!?!
(Me on the inside: Are you kidding me Smalls? These ads have a circulation of almost 30,000 homes. People are always telling me about how cheap our ad space is!)
Me: We raised our rates one dollar per week at the beginning of the year.
Ann: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GUYS ARE CHARGING SO MUCH! I ADVERTISE WITH THE TRIANGLE SHOPPER AND THEY'RE ONLY CHARGING ME $55.20 FOR A MONTH!
(Me on the inside: And I'm supposed to care because...?)
Me (for reals): Really?
Ann: Yeah! Anyway, can you just charge my credit card?
Me: Sure, do you mind giving me the information over the phone?
Ann: WHAT!?! I GAVE YOU GUYS THAT INFORMATION WAY BACK WHEN I FIRST TOOK THE AD OUT IN OCTOBER!
Me: Well, for our customers protection we destroy any records of credit card information after we process your payment.
Ann: JESUS CHRIST! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!
(I'm seriously considering placing an ad in the paper with all of her credit card information in it)
Ann: FINE! the number is 1234-5678-1234-5678
Me: And the expiration date?
Ann: WHAT THE HELL!?! HOW MUCH INFORMATION DO YOU NEED!?!
(I'm literally flipping the bird at the phone)
Me: The more information we have when we process your card the lower your service charge.
Ann: FINE! it's 03/09
Me: And the card verification number on the back?
Ann: JESUS CHRIST! 444
(Jesus loves you Ann!... I think)
Me: And a phone number to reach you?
Ann: THE ONE ON THE AD! You know what, I'm going to call my husband and tell him about this, I'm not sure I want my ad.
(I'm already pulling out my garbage can to throw the ad form away)
Me: Would you like me to hold off on this until you get the okay from him then?
Ann: NO! HOW ABOUT YOU RUN IT AND IF I CALL BACK AND SAY TO CANCEL IT THEN CANCEL IT! THAT WOULD MAKE SENSE!
(If it were possible to slap people through the phone your face would be red right now)
Me: Okay fine, I'll get this in there for you then.
(Damn it! I wanted to hang up on her!)
I was half tempted to call her back and hang up on her once she picked up. I needed a good fifteen minute coffee break to recover from that one. I want her to call back, I'm not going to be as nice to her next time.